If you’ve ever found yourself asking, “Why do I feel crazy?” especially after a difficult conversation or a draining relationship interaction, I want you to know, you are not alone…and you’re not crazy.
Hi, I’m Anna Cleary, a Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern here at Seven Oaks Therapy and this is something I hear from so many women, and what you’re experiencing often has a name: cognitive dissonance.
Let’s talk about what that is, how it shows up, and how you can begin to feel more grounded and clear again.
What is Cognitive Dissonance?
Cognitive dissonance happens when two conflicting realities exist in your mind at the same time.
For example, you might think:
- “He says he loves me,” but also,
- “He keeps lying to me and putting me down.”
Or
- “She’s my mom and she’s supposed to care,” but also,
- “I feel hurt every time we talk.”
Your brain struggles to make sense of these contradictions, and that tension creates anxiety, self-doubt, even panic. That’s why you feel emotionally exhausted, confused, and yes… sometimes like you’re losing your grip on reality.
But here’s the truth:
When someone manipulates you, invalidates your feelings, or makes you question your experience, you’re not broken. You’re reacting to emotional dissonance that your body knows isn’t right, even when your mind is trying to explain it away.
And often, if you’ve experienced trauma or emotional neglect in the past, this kind of confusion feels familiar, which makes it even harder to trust your gut.
So what can you do?
Here are a few practical things you can start today:
1. Name the Contradiction
When you feel confused, ask:
- “What’s the story I’m being told?” vs. “What are their actions showing me?”
Writing this down can be incredibly clarifying. Seeing the mismatch helps your brain resolve the dissonance.
2. Stop Arguing with Yourself
It’s not your job to convince yourself someone’s treatment of you is okay when it feels wrong.
It’s okay to say, “This doesn’t feel safe, and I don’t have to explain why.”
3. Create a Grounding Routine
When you feel like your thoughts are spinning, try:
- Putting your feet on the floor.
- Taking three deep breaths.
- Saying out loud: “I’m allowed to trust myself. What I feel matters.”
4. Begin Therapy
And if you’re ready to go deeper, therapy is a powerful space to untangle the emotional knots that narcissistic dynamics and past trauma can leave behind.
In therapy, we work together to:
- Sort truth from manipulation.
- Rebuild trust in your intuition.
- Heal the parts of you that have learned to second-guess your worth.
You don’t have to figure this out alone, and you don’t have to live in emotional chaos. There is clarity and peace on the other side of this.
You’re not crazy. You’re waking up to the truth. And that is the beginning of healing.
If this resonated with you, reach out to us and schedule an appointment today. I’d love to support you on your journey.